That is the only way I can describe myself right now, frustrated, angry, upset, hurt, annoyed, disappointed basically all of the above, I don't know, I feel like I just deserve better, I have busted my ass my whole life to get to what? I am officially 21 years old now and I should be happy but for what? I am a single gay female who has only one ex out of like 7-8 who hasn't went back to boys. Can I even say WENT back, its, more like they just took a short break from boys to play with girls emotions for a while so, what do I have... One ex who's name I have tattooed on my arm that's gonna give birth in 6 months, One ex that is back n forth with the guy she played me for, who got her pregnant too but she wasn't as lucky as my previous ex and she lost the baby, One ex who is probably gonna get married to some dude she has been since we broke up like 4 years ago, n I could go on but I don't want to. And lastly, me single for the past year, and I like to think of myself as being single for the past 2 years because I think 3-4 months out of that time with the girls I was talking to shouldn't really count, and I got so much stress on my plate with aging out of foster care this past June, applying to Law school soon and making sure I graduate in May, plus taking care of my Autistic brother. If you don't know me you probably think that I'm one of those people who just think that they have it worse than everybody else but I'm not. I know that there are people who are starving right now, getting abused, praying that a bomb doesn't go off in front of their house and so much more. So I definitely don't think that I am the only one with issues. I just feel with going through everything I have went through I deserve some happiness. Is that so hard to ask? I just want a girl who won't turn straight in less than a year and not make me feel like I totally wasted my time. I don't know, I need to release the madness for a little bit. Thanks to anyone who actually took the time to read this long as post. Hope tomorrow works out a little better for me.
