Im back at campus bored as all bloody hell because my school is empty until Friday. So, boredom at work led my to reading some blogs of this lesbian rap artist on myspace named Feloni, she talked about some interesting issues around being lesbian and bisexual in today's society. So I thought I'd share my comments I wrote to two of Feloni's blogs because I feel that they give some insight on my thoughts about bisexuals and the demands of being an AG or a stud today. FYI, you might want to read Feloni's two blogs before you read my comments to them so you can fully understand everything I am responding to, but its not that important because I made all my thoughts pretty clear. Let me know what you think...
I Don't have to act like a Man to Love a Woman, by Feloni
My response
Man, when I read this I had to double check it to make sure that this wasn't something I wrote because I relate to everything you said. I always felt more comfortable from a young age to wear baggy clothes because I didn't want boys hitting on me or looking and talking about my body because I was always very developed even at a young age. But then as you mentioned you got the bad things that come with dressing in baggy clothes like the guys messing with you or talking shit to you, saying things like you want to be a "Man" or that you are trying to be something that you are not. But some of these "agressive" females make it hard for us when they are projecting the wrong image that we AG's, studs or whatever you want to call it are just the same as men, (Because I hear them say this alot) and they make it so men feel like we are challenging them instead of it being that we just are trying to live are life and be happy the best way we know how. Also, I notice how some AG's or studs carry on some of the destructive behaviors of men because they feel like they have to over compensate for something that is not there and that they have to prove their "toughness" to men and women alike. And I hate the labels studs, AG's, etc to refer to me because I feel no one can be defined whole heartedly by one term. I'm me and that's all I'll ever be butch, stud or AG don't define who I am. And why should I want to be lumped into the same category as women who most often than not carry on with their lives totally different from me and see me more as competition then someone who is fighting the same battle as them, but I have also noticed that girls in general are harder on each other then men and more often than not rather criticize then get to know one another. I'll just end this by saying, that I'm not a man and don't ever want to be one, but I'm not gonna confine myself to the stereotypes and traditions of just because you are a woman you must be soft, timid and obedient because that's not me baggy clothes or no baggy clothes. I have went through too much in my life to be anything but tough and if men or other women want to categorize that as wanting to be a man then that's on them, but I know better. Good blog by the way Feloni, keep doing your thing.
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The "Downlow" Lesbian, is she actually Bi?, by Feloni
My Response
I can't give a definite yes or no answer to whether or not lesbians who like penetration are actually bi on the low because to me you have to go on a case by case basis. Like you I hardly never been in a relationship with a lesbian, being that it was only one time out of the 6-7 relationships I have been in and it was one of the shortest relationships I was ever in. She liked penetration and strap-ons being used on her and she always claimed to me that she was strictly lesbian and I haven't seen otherwise to second guess her. She always told me that it wasn't so much the penetration that she liked because she said she could do without it. But she said that's she likes using strap-ons with her AG or stud girlfriends because it seemed please them and make them feel like they have power and she was just into what was gonna make the sexual experience enjoyable for both of them. I also have been with bisexuals who aren't into getting strapped at all so, personally I think that liking or not liking penetration alone can't be the sole determining factor in whether your or not you are a lesbian or bisexual. Its not that I have a real preference in the matter of dating a girl that's lesbian or bisexual because if I like a girl and she likes me, I don't really care what she identifies herself as, so long as she treats me right and makes me happy.
But my experience dating bisexuals has been that they all aren't that stereotypical, I like both girls and guys so its ok for me to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend type of chick. Many of them just go with whoever makes them happy and treats them good whether its a girl or guy. With that being said I do have one issue with dating bisexuals, they tend to downplay their interest in guys when they date girls, like I have had bisexual girls say that they hate this or that about men or sex with men or tell me that they like girls like 80% and guys 20% etc, as if this is some math class instead of real life emotions that can't be bonded by percentages supposing to measure up you interests and tastes. But when the relationship is done the next relationship that they get in are in my case more often then not with a guy and I'm not afraid to say that it sort of messes with my ego to see this happen because I have a lot of personal issues when it comes to guys. If your bisexual and you like men and women both equally or one more than another that's fine but don't downplay your feelings for guys because you are with a girl and you think it will make me feel better because in the end I am more upset with the fact that I was lied to the whole time more so then the fact that they are with a dude after we break up.
Going back to the penetration issue, I use to never want to use a strap-on a girl because I felt like it would mean that I wanted to be a guy which I don't want to be. But as I got older I realized that sex is about pleasing each other and if I am with a girl that likes penetration why should I not at least try it out or anything else for that matter for them, if I don't enjoy it then I don't but I shouldn't just write it off completely. But do I like using strap-ons on women to symbolise my power over them or because of some deep seeded fear of losing your girl to a guy, I'm really not sure. I don't think it has anything to do with power but you never know what your subconscious is thinking, but I do know that sometimes I have wondered that if I don't give my girl what she wants in this case, being penetration, would she go to some dude for it? But like I said I have some personal issues when it comes to the girls I got out with dating guys after me. So that's all I can think of and I think I wrote enough, but I really like your blogs, you give me something to think about. Stay up.
