Mind wandering,
Soul searching,
All of my deepest emotions lurching forward,
Threatening to push me to the brink...
I gather all of my composure and try to digest how everything got so wrong,
It's like listening to a song playing backwards and trying to decipher its true meaning yet getting lost since the words no longer make sense,
Tell me is it all worth it?
The pain,
The heartache,
The despair,
The suffering,
The misery,
The regret,
It eats away at me at times and I wonder if it will ever completely go away,
Feeling gray even though the light of day is shining at its brightest,
I know that there is something more I just...can't really see it,
I struggle to move forward without bringing with me the pain of the past,
This is one moment that I wish would never last,
And yet here it still is...this immense feeling of hopelessness,
That nothing will ever change,
I will always be stuck in a life full of pain,
The more I contemplate the quicker my emotions start to shift,
To rage, anger and frustration as I feel my sanity starting to lift,
And I can't even see straight but I'm driven by the fury,
I find myself searching for someone, anyone that I can actually trust,
I am like the end of a fuse that's about to combust,
Watch me as I Self-Destruct
